


Candy Rings

by romulusgloriosus



Category: Homestuck
Genre: "Inktober", F/M, Fluff, The Homestuck Epilogues: Candy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-11-10 20:10:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20857550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romulusgloriosus/pseuds/romulusgloriosus
Summary: Just some JohnRoxy fluff, with special guest Kanaya Maryam being a good friend to John. I wrote this for "Inktober" because I can't draw, and decided to write something instead. Day 1's prompt is "Ring" so here's a story about John buying an engagement ring for his beautiful fiancee.





	Candy Rings

John Egbert is in downtown New Prospit this afternoon. The streets of the city are paved with gold – literal gold – because gold isn’t really that big of a deal on Earth C where it can simply be alchemized via the grist that they have in infinite amounts. The architecture is Italian – or Prospitian, really – Italian-Prospitian? It doesn’t really matter. Walking around New Prospit is kind of like walking around Vatican City on old Earth, except completely gold. It’s pretty.

John is on a mission. It’s been about a month since he and Roxy Lalonde got engaged, but neither of them have exchanged rings yet. He’s decided that it’s about time that he buy one, given that buying a ring for the person you love is something that a prospective husband should do at some point. It’s tradition. John’s so certain about this tradition that he’s actually heading out to buy one at around 6pm, “after work,” even though John has no day job and never will because day jobs don’t exist on Earth C – certainly not for Gods, anyway. On that note, the very premise of there actually being a jewelry store on a planet where you can alchemize everything possible is pretty absurd to begin with, but I’m just trying to tell a fun story here.

John steps inside of the definitely-real jewelry store, manned by a Prospitian dressed in a nice cardigan and no pants. The Prospitian tells John that she’s honored to have him in her store. John says he’s honored to be here, though he isn’t – he’s just being polite. He asks about rings. She asks him what kind of rings he’s interested in. Rings for a pretty girl, John says. The Prospitian says that they have plenty of rings for pretty girls, and asks whether John can be more specific. John says he’s looking for an engagement ring, but asks the Prospitian to keep it on the downlow, since they’re celebrities and all. The Prospitian says sure. The Prospitian asks what kind of jewel he’d like to have in the engagement ring. John says uhhhhhhh....

KANAYA: John

John turns around to see his friend Kanaya, who is perusing the jewelry herself. He smiles widely.

JOHN: hey kanaya! are you getting something for rose?  
KANAYA: Ha Ha Yes I Am I Have Been Working Very Hard In The Brooding Caverns Lately While Rose Has Been At Home And I Wanted To Get Her Something Nice To Show Her How Grateful I Am That She Supports My Work  
JOHN: aww! that’s really great, kanaya. i’m sure rose will love whatever you get her. though i am kinda surprised that rose would even like jewelry...it seems kind of....  
KANAYA: Yes John

John weighs his next words carefully.

JOHN: girly?  
KANAYA: Girly  
JOHN: not that there’s anything wrong with girly stuff! girly stuff is great! i like girly stuff sometimes! i just mean that like...rose always seemed too “cool” for that kinda stuff...not that you can be too cool for that kind of stuff!

Kanaya stares at John.

JOHN: ugh...i mean....  
KANAYA: Internalized Misogyny Can Do A Number On A Young Human Girl’s Relationship To Her Gender Roles Yes  
JOHN: internalized...have you guys been hanging out with dave a lot?  
KANAYA: Dave Does Not Have The Monopoly On Wokeness On This Planet John  
KANAYA: It May Be A Further Surprise To You But Sometimes Women Can Be Very Self Aware  
JOHN: i’m sorry, kanaya. i’m being a huge dick right now.  
KANAYA: It Is Okay John To Some Extent I Am Just Fucking With You Because It Is Easy  
KANAYA: And To Answer Your Question Yes Dave Karkat And Jade Have Been At Our House Nearly Constantly For The Past Month  
KANAYA: I Hate To Admit It But As Much As I Love All Three Of Them A Big Reason I Am Here Is To Get Away From Them  
KANAYA: Sometimes It Can Get A Little  
KANAYA: Loud  
JOHN: haha yeah i get that!

The two of them stand in silence for a moment. John fidgets with his fingers. Kanaya continues to stare at him. Has she blinked yet? This is awkward.

KANAYA: So  
JOHN: so....  
KANAYA: What Are You Doing Here John Do You Have A Secret Mistress We Should Know About  
JOHN: no! i’m here to buy a ring for roxy! you know, the girl i’m ENGAGED to?  
KANAYA: You Havent Done That Yet  
JOHN: no i haven’t...i’ve been meaning to! it’s just...been really fast, you know. we got engaged at the funeral and roxy asked ME so i just assumed we didn’t need them...  
KANAYA: And You Changed Your Mind  
JOHN: it’s not that i changed my mind really! it’s just that roxy is SO great you know? we’ve had a really great time together the past couple of weeks and it’s really clicking just how much i...like...her, and i just thought she’d like it if i got her a ring. i got her a ring before, you know? and she was really excited about that. but we were kids then and i think it would be dumb if i was just like...hey roxy! consider that ring i gave you all those years ago your engagement ring because i can’t just buy another one with the INFINITE MONEY i have!  
KANAYA: Yes That Sounds Pretty Dumb  
JOHN: plus i’m pretty sure she gave that ring to callie so she could be alive, so it’d probably be pretty awkward to consider that ring our engagement ring.  
KANAYA: Why Would That Be Awkward  
JOHN: because! because...

John really hates talking about this. Nobody he’s talked to except for Terezi ever seems to have perceived Roxy’s relationship with her former roommate as anything other than platonic, and it always makes him feel like he’s being stupid and jealous to think it may have ever been otherwise. So he changes the subject.

JOHN: nevermind. anyway i’m here looking for a ring. maybe we can look for rings together?  
KANAYA: Yes John  
JOHN: yeah?  
KANAYA: Yes John  
KANAYA: From The Moment You Told Me You Were Looking For A Ring For Roxy I Decided That I Am Going To Help You Find The Perfect One  
KANAYA: No Piece of Jewelry Would Give Rose More Satisfaction Than The Knowledge That Her Wife Found The Perfect Engagement Ring For Her Beloved Ectomother  
JOHN: haha yeah that sounds like her! man kanaya thanks so much! i’ll be honest, i was pretty lost in here and wasn’t really sure where to start.  
KANAYA: Yes I Know

\---

ROXY: theres mah sexy dude!!!!!! :* :* :*

John is greeted with a big hug and three wet kisses on the face by his loving fiancee as he walks in the door holding a fancy bag. He smiles and laughs and hugs her back, giving Roxy a kiss on the forehead in return.

JOHN: hi! i don’t know if i’m ever going to get used to that, roxy.  
ROXY: is it bad??? let me no if im too clingy k  
ROXY: that would be v v bad and i just wanna be nice b  
JOHN: haha no it’s ok! i like it. i just...i’m not really used to having somebody around like this. especially not someone as pretty as you!  
ROXY: story of my life mr egbert

Roxy looks down at the bag he’s carrying.

ROXY: u got somethin cool?

John looks down at it too and laughs nervously.

JOHN: uh...haha...yeah. it’s um...we should sit down. you should sit down.  
ROXY: u dont got a secret mistress do you  
ROXY: im not saying id be opposed to a certain...arrangement wonk wonk wonk  
ROXY: but u gotta let me in on it k  
JOHN: no! why does everybody keep thinking that!?  
ROXY: lmao  
ROXY: relax johnny b i am just bein silly u r far too easy to fuck wit  
ROXY: but for real i no im way out of ur league and ud never want to b wit anyone else lol  
ROXY: so wat u got  
JOHN: what do i got?  
ROXY: in the bag goofy!!!!  
JOHN: oh right! i told you already, you should sit down.  
ROXY: lol ok SORRY john egbert lemme go SIT DOWN lol lol lol

Roxy skips over to the couch and sits down. She smiles up at John. He clears his throat and reaches for the bag with shaking hands. He feels pretty dumb for being this nervous. They’re ALREADY engaged! Yet somehow, even though he knows she’ll say yes, asking her to marry him still makes his heart flutter. Once she puts on the ring it’ll be legitimate somehow. Both of them will have asked the other. It’ll be a full commitment. Ouch, he’s really just making himself even more nervous.

ROXY: come on b wat u got wat u got im dyin  
JOHN: sorry...i just...ok...phew....

He reaches into the bag and pulls out the little box. He gets down on one knee like a proper gentleman. Tears are beginning to form in Roxy’s eyes as her hands fly to her mouth. Courage begins to form in his chest, and he smiles widely.

JOHN: i know we’re already engaged but -  
ROXY: yes!!!!! yes john i’ll marry you!!!! ur the best omg i got the BEST babe  
JOHN: - I didn’t finish....  
ROXY: oh sorry lol wat u gonna say *WONK*  
JOHN: ...shoot, nevermind. damn. uh...oh forget it – roxy lalonde, will you marry me?

He opens the box containing the ring. Inside is a beautiful gold band containing a shimmering pink sapphire. Roxy throws herself at John and knocks him to the ground, kissing his face over and over again.

ROXY: aaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!! u r so stinkin cute omg i just cant stand it! what a GENTLEMAN  
JOHN: hahaha...is that a yes?  
ROXY: yes john it’s a yes  
ROXY: wow! u got such a pretty ring i had no idea u had such good taste *is impressed*  
JOHN: um well actually...i ran into kanaya and -  
ROXY: say no more that makes way more sense lol  
JOHN: well i...picked out the color...i know you like pink...kanaya just told me what jewel i should pick.  
ROXY: o u no i like pink huh???  
JOHN: i mean its your color and  
ROXY: shut up and kiss me mr egbert

The two of them share a long passionate kiss. John slides the ring onto her finger and puts his hand in hers.

JOHN: i’m glad you like it.  
ROXY: its great john. thank u for gettin it for me. ur a big sweetheart.  
JOHN: heh...you too, roxy. thanks for marrying me.  
ROXY: lmao ur welcome b  
ROXY: tha pleasure is aaaaaaaaaall mine

They kiss again. We’ll leave these two lovebirds to the rest of their evening. I think we’ve intruded on them enough for some stupid story I wrote for “inktober” because I’m better at writing than drawing.


End file.
